My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
