the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is Oprah even human
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
