Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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