i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
