You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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