I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
