She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
