census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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