Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
