I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
