the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
God, I missed his penis.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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