Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
