Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
