Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
