Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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