Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
