No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
