I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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