so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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