a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
