its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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