Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
