Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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