Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Nicole vs. Life
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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