I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
