When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
