K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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