I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You pole danced in your parka.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
