i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
