loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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