O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
