I just threw up on my dentist
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
