Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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