my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
