The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
