Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
