you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
