Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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