member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
