Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
