official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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