She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
