Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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