i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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