Are we in a gay sports bar?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
