Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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