tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize