We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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