We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
