i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
